If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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