i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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