last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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