I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize