i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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