I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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