Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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