i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
NoShamevember. You game?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
