That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
