As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
