he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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