you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
