There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
