YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
