thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
