Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
