The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
