Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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