I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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