its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have aggressive nipples.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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