You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Randomize
