i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
