just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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