I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
