I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Randomize
