my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize