Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
