I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize