Christians are straight up FREAKS
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
