just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize