Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
