Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
