Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
