OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
