one two three fourrrrnication!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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