I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
