I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize