dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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