I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
