Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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