Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
