Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.

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  (586): The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now. http://tfl.nu/lukr
  Replies (9) Good night (883) Bad night (439)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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  (305): go do what you do best...puke behind churches http://tfl.nu/kmxp
  Replies (9) Good night (1062) Bad night (512)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2487) Bad night (741)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3787) Bad night (934)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

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  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (917) Bad night (2648)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures

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  (715): Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures http://tfl.nu/hpoh
  Replies (6) Good night (2995) Bad night (1453)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me

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  (321): i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me http://tfl.nu/5b8j
  Replies (10) Good night (3042) Bad night (991)
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  (619): View more from California

  Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.

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  (619): Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me. http://tfl.nu/28u5
  Replies (23) Good night (883) Bad night (4067)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.

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  (803): Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing. http://tfl.nu/46mh
  Replies (6) Good night (784) Bad night (2880)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.

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  (540): It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/uwnr
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (708)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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  (973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7
  Replies (0) Good night (1189) Bad night (404)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  I think you were raised by the wrong sister

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  (616): My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks" (1-616): I think you were raised by the wrong sister http://tfl.nu/18dn
  Replies (1) Good night (1466) Bad night (280)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.

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  (917): New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward. http://tfl.nu/1xcw
  Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (372)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  Pass or fail tho

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  (817): Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard (1-817): Pass or fail tho http://tfl.nu/htlu
  Replies (0) Good night (372) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.

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  (843): Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement. http://tfl.nu/5mts
  Replies (5) Good night (294) Bad night (1091)

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