Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(347): View more from New York

she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.

(1-347): View more from New York

ofcourse you didnt.

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(469): View more from Texas

Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take

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(815): View more from Illinois

I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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(860): View more from Connecticut

in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

Blow your rape whistle

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(206): View more from Washington

I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters

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(703): View more from Virginia

I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.

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(516): View more from New York

Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"

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