remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
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The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.