i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.