..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?