she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
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Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
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sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"