Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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(949): View more from California

the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach

(1-949): View more from California

um or while having sex on a train

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(516): View more from New York

You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.

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(419): View more from Ohio

we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(540): View more from Virginia

For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!

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(813): View more from Florida

He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.

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