the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.