Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  whatever it's not my family

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  (847): this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment. (1-847): whatever it's not my family http://tfl.nu/qbfh
  Replies (1) Good night (2383) Bad night (712)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.

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  (440): Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic. http://tfl.nu/n8qw
  Replies (18) Good night (4798) Bad night (687)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.

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  (484): So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention. http://tfl.nu/x7xj
  Replies (45) Good night (4655) Bad night (808)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3356) Bad night (973)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

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  (540): I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/crtx
  Replies (37) Good night (4406) Bad night (905)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"

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  (804): ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty" http://tfl.nu/zpfk
  Replies (9) Good night (1117) Bad night (4457)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.

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  (402): I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange. http://tfl.nu/kq15
  Replies (3) Good night (3446) Bad night (1320)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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  (519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21
  Replies (13) Good night (2631) Bad night (898)
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  (716): View more from New York

  ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace

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  (716): ... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace http://tfl.nu/lenw
  Replies (11) Good night (1000) Bad night (2067)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.

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  (561): Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets. http://tfl.nu/6ng8
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1075)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries

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  (865): I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries http://tfl.nu/egp0
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (755)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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  (407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (526)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates

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  (732): look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates http://tfl.nu/bp7h
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.

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  (404): Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate. http://tfl.nu/nuzb
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (497)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.

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  (919): we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise. http://tfl.nu/z0vg
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (278)

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