I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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