He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
