she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
