just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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