$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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