Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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