I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
