The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Rumble strips road head = magical
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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