she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
