So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
