hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
