Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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