i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
there's paper in my vomit.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
