): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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