I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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