I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
