Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just forgot I was standing up.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
