the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
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