You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
