Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
