Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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