would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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