I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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