Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
