While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
