after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
